"If youweren't so entertaining, we wouldn't even keep you around."That was how the party ended for him. No date but plenty of abuse andmortification. They didn't even let him have his own clothes back. Hehad to take a late bus looking the way he did, with all the other ridersstaring at him and shaking their heads in disapproval. What could he do?Well, he had one last hope.On Saturday morning, all cleaned up, Allen went to that nail salon atstreet level and, in his halting and less-than-confident way, asked if hecould apply for a job. To his surprise, he was accepted on the spot. Hestarted to say something about giving pedicures but the woman in charge,Allison, cut him off. She explained that the guy who used to have thejob had gotten himself into some sort of legal trouble and could nolonger work there. Allison was pretty but in a flashy and domineeringway. And she was early middle-aged. Quite imposing. So he backed offand didn't try to say anything else. Instead, he got. But he never tried, or gave any indication that I had ever been anything more to him that his mother. I was able to suppress my desires, making do with the vanilla love-making of my husband. In fact I thought I was over it until my daughter moved out the next year, and I found myself at home alone with my other son, Jason. Images of he and I began sneaking into my masturbatory fantasies. I pushed them aside as best I could until eventually they were the ONLY things I saw when I closed my eyes. I started haphazardly ‘flirting’ with my son, it sounds ridiculous and perverse I know. It was nothing overtly sexual (at first), I would just sit next to him at every meal, and I would hug and touch him more than I used to. I wore skirts and no undies when he got home, hoping that somehow he would go through the same mood swing as his brother and just take me. But it never happened. I tried being really close with him, asking about his day, and girls. I used slang and even curse words, trying.
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